Soneto XVII
de Pablo Neruda
No te amo como si fueras rosa de sal, topacio
o flecha de claveles que propagan el fuego:
te amo como se aman ciertas cosas oscuras,
secretamente, entre la sombra y el alma.
Te amo como la planta que no florece y lleva
dentro de sí, escondida, la luz de aquellas flores,
y gracias a tu amor vive oscuro en mi cuerpo
el apretado aroma que ascendió de la tierra.
Te amo sin saber cómo, ni cuándo, ni de dónde,
te amo directamente sin problemas ni orgullo:
así te amo porque no sé amar de otra manera,
sino así de este modo en que no soy ni eres,
tan cerca que tu mano sobre mi pecho es mía,
tan cerca que se cierran tus ojos con mi sueño.
Sonnet XVII
by Pablo Neruda
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
de Pablo Neruda
No te amo como si fueras rosa de sal, topacio
o flecha de claveles que propagan el fuego:
te amo como se aman ciertas cosas oscuras,
secretamente, entre la sombra y el alma.
Te amo como la planta que no florece y lleva
dentro de sí, escondida, la luz de aquellas flores,
y gracias a tu amor vive oscuro en mi cuerpo
el apretado aroma que ascendió de la tierra.
Te amo sin saber cómo, ni cuándo, ni de dónde,
te amo directamente sin problemas ni orgullo:
así te amo porque no sé amar de otra manera,
sino así de este modo en que no soy ni eres,
tan cerca que tu mano sobre mi pecho es mía,
tan cerca que se cierran tus ojos con mi sueño.
Sonnet XVII
by Pablo Neruda
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
I am a graduate of UPM.
Cheh, macam support group meeting introduction! Hee... :P
Yes, I graduated from Universiti Putra Malaysia. The university and the course I graduated from were my first choices in my IPTA application. Call it going against type, but I was determined not to select UM simply because everybody else wanted to go there and felt that they would die if they did not succeed in their admission application. I remembered Pn. Zainita, my Year 6 class teacher and Mrs. Kua, my 6th Form class teacher saying no matter where you go or end up at, if you're a good seed, you will grow, blossom and bear fruits of blessings for others. Logically I argued with them that it would also have to depend on the soil and environmental conditions. They both had the same reply, "If you have good soil and a bad seed, that would be such a waste, no?". For days after, I would be thinking of coconuts floating in the ocean, finding land.
The first few weeks of university were harrowing. Firstly, I got traumatised when the VC earnestly said in his welcome speech, "Bila berada di menara gading, anda berada di ambang perkahwinan..." I swear I cringed and sunk deep into my seat. The students around me smiled sheepishly or laughed like it was the best thing they've heard in ages. Evidently, I failed to appreciate the humour because I felt that I didn't go through 6th Form and STPM to end up in a bridal market.
The initial weeks also introduced me to polarization and the simple observation that boy, do our universities unravel any effort made at the primary level for racial integration. Chinese-educated peers shunned me and scoffed at my insistence in speaking English or Malay. It was never an attempt to be superior, I simply could not speak Mandarin or the other dialects, at least not without causing mass diarrhea. Chinese seniors came to my residential college and spoke of how we as Chinese must help each other in order to survive and promptly established a support network. This occurred for the other new students as well and even within the same course, seniors mostly helped juniors of the same race. Obstracized because I couldn't speak the language and did not sympathize with the need to flock together, I spent the first month hanging out almost exclusively with Malay and Indian coursemates. A clash of mentalities perhap, but the irony of being an outcast because I was a product of the sekolah kebangsaan system in a public university was biting.
It was only natural that I gravitated towards AIESEC where everybody spoke Manglish and individuality was celebrated as much as diversity. AIESEC gave me opportunities to cross borders (literally!) and hone many skills that lectures can't teach. A dedicated alumni and a nationwide network helped in many ways to make my campus life unpredictable, exhilarating and fulfilling. In many ways, the activities made us more into mature and responsible adults rather than just students in a club. My AIESEC stint also lead on to participation in many university activities that involved interactions with a hodgepodge of student leaders and representatives, be it local or regional. The whole collective experience was nothing short of wonderful.
It was in UPM too that I discovered and developed my love for theatre and writing. In that little Rumah Teater next to the Music Faculty, we spent cosy mornings, afternoons and evenings getting lost in Brecht, Beckett, Wedekind, Williams, performance theories, local culture, world history, humanity and of course, acting. Learning from each other was as important as learning from text or teachers. It completely changed my concept of what a classroom is and what learning can be like. Contrary to most perceptions, most of us who had the opportunity to take those precious modules were not arts students, we were science students seeking something more. I did not realise it then, but under the dedicated tutelage of Rohaizad Suaidi and Rey Buono, what we learnt in those classes would prepare us for so much more in being human and being alive.
While working part-time before entering university, a fellow colleague, an overseas graduate, told me that I am losing out a lot by attending a local university. He regaled me with tales of his many adventures while studying in Melbourne, Australia. He made a bet with me that after three years in UPM, if I could match his adventures and honestly say I do not envy those who went overseas, he did give me RM200 for the accomplishment. I still have his namecard somewhere with the bet written behind it but it is a bet I don't ever need to claim. I had a splendid time as a student in Universiti Putra Malaysia.
I have been told by some of my peers that this is a rather rosy and sheltered view of local campus life. Perhaps so, but I do believe there is still accidental beauty to be found in yup, our local universities. Fortunately or unfortunately, these were the choices I made as a student and that was the campus life I wanted and had. As with most things in life, if you expect things to be handed over to you, you stand to lose out in so many ways. Reading the responses across the net to that video, I can't help but feel that we don't always have to make ourselves into victims or martyrs just to get our point across, do we? Yes, we cannot ignore the wrongdoings, but neither should we be myopic in our view of things. Sharing and venting anger or disgust when something goes wrong, more often than not, helps nothing for the cause or the person(s) involved.
Negative vibes always beget more of the same. I would like to remain positive :)
Cheh, macam support group meeting introduction! Hee... :P
Yes, I graduated from Universiti Putra Malaysia. The university and the course I graduated from were my first choices in my IPTA application. Call it going against type, but I was determined not to select UM simply because everybody else wanted to go there and felt that they would die if they did not succeed in their admission application. I remembered Pn. Zainita, my Year 6 class teacher and Mrs. Kua, my 6th Form class teacher saying no matter where you go or end up at, if you're a good seed, you will grow, blossom and bear fruits of blessings for others. Logically I argued with them that it would also have to depend on the soil and environmental conditions. They both had the same reply, "If you have good soil and a bad seed, that would be such a waste, no?". For days after, I would be thinking of coconuts floating in the ocean, finding land.
The first few weeks of university were harrowing. Firstly, I got traumatised when the VC earnestly said in his welcome speech, "Bila berada di menara gading, anda berada di ambang perkahwinan..." I swear I cringed and sunk deep into my seat. The students around me smiled sheepishly or laughed like it was the best thing they've heard in ages. Evidently, I failed to appreciate the humour because I felt that I didn't go through 6th Form and STPM to end up in a bridal market.
The initial weeks also introduced me to polarization and the simple observation that boy, do our universities unravel any effort made at the primary level for racial integration. Chinese-educated peers shunned me and scoffed at my insistence in speaking English or Malay. It was never an attempt to be superior, I simply could not speak Mandarin or the other dialects, at least not without causing mass diarrhea. Chinese seniors came to my residential college and spoke of how we as Chinese must help each other in order to survive and promptly established a support network. This occurred for the other new students as well and even within the same course, seniors mostly helped juniors of the same race. Obstracized because I couldn't speak the language and did not sympathize with the need to flock together, I spent the first month hanging out almost exclusively with Malay and Indian coursemates. A clash of mentalities perhap, but the irony of being an outcast because I was a product of the sekolah kebangsaan system in a public university was biting.
It was only natural that I gravitated towards AIESEC where everybody spoke Manglish and individuality was celebrated as much as diversity. AIESEC gave me opportunities to cross borders (literally!) and hone many skills that lectures can't teach. A dedicated alumni and a nationwide network helped in many ways to make my campus life unpredictable, exhilarating and fulfilling. In many ways, the activities made us more into mature and responsible adults rather than just students in a club. My AIESEC stint also lead on to participation in many university activities that involved interactions with a hodgepodge of student leaders and representatives, be it local or regional. The whole collective experience was nothing short of wonderful.
It was in UPM too that I discovered and developed my love for theatre and writing. In that little Rumah Teater next to the Music Faculty, we spent cosy mornings, afternoons and evenings getting lost in Brecht, Beckett, Wedekind, Williams, performance theories, local culture, world history, humanity and of course, acting. Learning from each other was as important as learning from text or teachers. It completely changed my concept of what a classroom is and what learning can be like. Contrary to most perceptions, most of us who had the opportunity to take those precious modules were not arts students, we were science students seeking something more. I did not realise it then, but under the dedicated tutelage of Rohaizad Suaidi and Rey Buono, what we learnt in those classes would prepare us for so much more in being human and being alive.
While working part-time before entering university, a fellow colleague, an overseas graduate, told me that I am losing out a lot by attending a local university. He regaled me with tales of his many adventures while studying in Melbourne, Australia. He made a bet with me that after three years in UPM, if I could match his adventures and honestly say I do not envy those who went overseas, he did give me RM200 for the accomplishment. I still have his namecard somewhere with the bet written behind it but it is a bet I don't ever need to claim. I had a splendid time as a student in Universiti Putra Malaysia.
I have been told by some of my peers that this is a rather rosy and sheltered view of local campus life. Perhaps so, but I do believe there is still accidental beauty to be found in yup, our local universities. Fortunately or unfortunately, these were the choices I made as a student and that was the campus life I wanted and had. As with most things in life, if you expect things to be handed over to you, you stand to lose out in so many ways. Reading the responses across the net to that video, I can't help but feel that we don't always have to make ourselves into victims or martyrs just to get our point across, do we? Yes, we cannot ignore the wrongdoings, but neither should we be myopic in our view of things. Sharing and venting anger or disgust when something goes wrong, more often than not, helps nothing for the cause or the person(s) involved.
Negative vibes always beget more of the same. I would like to remain positive :)
Sometimes you hear a song and the lyrics speak what's in your heart.
Then there are songs that speak what was not spoken.
The first or the last, and the things that are remembered forever.
Make This Go On Forever
by Snow Patrol
Eyes Open © 2006 Polydor Ltd.
Please don't let this turn into something it's not
I can only give you everything I've got
I can't be as sorry as you think I should
But I still love your more than anyone else could
All that I keep thinking throughout this whole flight
Is it could take my whole damn life to make this right
The splintered mast I'm holding on won't save me long
Because I know fine well that what I did was wrong
The last girl and the last reason
To make this last for as long as I could
The first kiss and the first time
That I felt connected to anything
The weight of water the way you taught me
To look past everything I have ever learned
The final word in the final sentence
You ever uttered to me was love
We have got through so much worse than this before
What's so different this time that you can't ignore
You say it is much more than just my last mistake
And we should spend some time apart
For both our sakes
The last girl and the last reason
To make this last for as long as I could
The first kiss and the first time
That I felt connected to anything
The weight of water the way you taught me
To look past everything I have ever learned
The final word in the final sentence
You ever uttered to me was love
And I don't know where to look
My words just break and melt
Please just save me from this darkness
Then there are songs that speak what was not spoken.
The first or the last, and the things that are remembered forever.
Make This Go On Forever
by Snow Patrol
Eyes Open © 2006 Polydor Ltd.
Please don't let this turn into something it's not
I can only give you everything I've got
I can't be as sorry as you think I should
But I still love your more than anyone else could
All that I keep thinking throughout this whole flight
Is it could take my whole damn life to make this right
The splintered mast I'm holding on won't save me long
Because I know fine well that what I did was wrong
The last girl and the last reason
To make this last for as long as I could
The first kiss and the first time
That I felt connected to anything
The weight of water the way you taught me
To look past everything I have ever learned
The final word in the final sentence
You ever uttered to me was love
We have got through so much worse than this before
What's so different this time that you can't ignore
You say it is much more than just my last mistake
And we should spend some time apart
For both our sakes
The last girl and the last reason
To make this last for as long as I could
The first kiss and the first time
That I felt connected to anything
The weight of water the way you taught me
To look past everything I have ever learned
The final word in the final sentence
You ever uttered to me was love
And I don't know where to look
My words just break and melt
Please just save me from this darkness
My favourite building in the whole of Singapore is an old police station. The 72-years Old Hill Street Police Station has been preserved and transformed into the present MICA building. Just looking at it whenever I'm near Clarke Quay makes me beam with glee. I especially love the colourful window and door shutters which remind me of a LEGO town set that I had as a kid. Read more about the history and transformation of this lovely building here.
I can't make up my mind to cut my hair short into a chin length bob or give it large fashion perm curls. Have not been taking photographs lately and I've kept my promise not to read any new books till the work at hand is done.Thus, the restlessness ended up as a new look for the blog instead... :)
'twas a ball & lotsa yellow ones!
4 Comments Published by carinasuyin | Tuesday, July 11, 2006 | 10:07 PM.
It was a superb weekend. Decided to watch the World Cup final in town afterall although nobody else wanted to leave the comfort of their own sofa and home tv. Didn't have a jersey to wear so yours truly, the once-in-4-years punya football fan bersemangat-ly wore blue, white and red. Met up with Eyeris and Sam, caught France's opening goal while having a quick bite at the food court nearby before we all ran across the road to catch the live telecast at the The Plaza, National Library. Yeah, a strange venue but great nonetheless! The Sony HD screen was pleasantly huge and most of the crowd gathered there were Azzurri supporters. Perhaps the atmosphere would have been more crackling if they were more France supporters around.
The sight of a lonely Les Bleus supporter wearing Zidane's No.10 jersey walking around aimlessly during the second half ironically foretold the unfortunate event that eclipsed Italy's win. Ohh the agony, even the skies opened up... Later, while walking towards the MRT in the rain, trying to imagine a convoy of Mat Rempits blaring their motorcycle horns as they speed down Bras Basah Road, shouting Itali, Itali, Itali menang!! brought a smile to my face. Oh, and that sad but really funny sight of a Brazil fan with the deflated horn in a videoclip of Italy's triumph over Brazil in 1982. Phoooot...
Coldplay Twisted Logic Tour 2006 Singapore photo © Jimmy Liew
Rainy Monday morning blues then gave way to a spectacular evening! My first concert in a mosh pit and it was absolutely awesome! Siew Leong and I met up with a gleeful Eyeris, fresh and high from interviewing Coldplay and the pre-concert cocktail session haha... We started out being in the middle somewhere 20m from the stage, initially blocked by a pair of "English twin towers", couples making out much to Michael's amusement and a "puffball" who attended a concert via his camera LCD, but later ended up a mere 5 metres away from the band! Watching the band and Chris Martin on the piano and his amusing antics upclose were surreal!
As Chris Martin remarked, the mood of the Monday night concert was unbelievable! The crowd was electric! Ah Chan the concert veteran said Coldplay Live overtook RHCP's as his personal favourite. Every song simply rocked but my favourite moments of the whole night have got to be the gold confetti-filled yellow balloon balls during Yellow, the rising anthems of Clocks and Politik and finally singing our hearts out to Fix You despite our voices being quite gone by then! Oooh... the euphoria! As the bus meandered its way back to the other side of the island, strains of Till Kingdom Come and Swallowed in the Sea accompanied the ride home and I gave silent thanks for being 165cm... tee hee!
The sight of a lonely Les Bleus supporter wearing Zidane's No.10 jersey walking around aimlessly during the second half ironically foretold the unfortunate event that eclipsed Italy's win. Ohh the agony, even the skies opened up... Later, while walking towards the MRT in the rain, trying to imagine a convoy of Mat Rempits blaring their motorcycle horns as they speed down Bras Basah Road, shouting Itali, Itali, Itali menang!! brought a smile to my face. Oh, and that sad but really funny sight of a Brazil fan with the deflated horn in a videoclip of Italy's triumph over Brazil in 1982. Phoooot...
Coldplay Twisted Logic Tour 2006 Singapore photo © Jimmy Liew
Rainy Monday morning blues then gave way to a spectacular evening! My first concert in a mosh pit and it was absolutely awesome! Siew Leong and I met up with a gleeful Eyeris, fresh and high from interviewing Coldplay and the pre-concert cocktail session haha... We started out being in the middle somewhere 20m from the stage, initially blocked by a pair of "English twin towers", couples making out much to Michael's amusement and a "puffball" who attended a concert via his camera LCD, but later ended up a mere 5 metres away from the band! Watching the band and Chris Martin on the piano and his amusing antics upclose were surreal!
As Chris Martin remarked, the mood of the Monday night concert was unbelievable! The crowd was electric! Ah Chan the concert veteran said Coldplay Live overtook RHCP's as his personal favourite. Every song simply rocked but my favourite moments of the whole night have got to be the gold confetti-filled yellow balloon balls during Yellow, the rising anthems of Clocks and Politik and finally singing our hearts out to Fix You despite our voices being quite gone by then! Oooh... the euphoria! As the bus meandered its way back to the other side of the island, strains of Till Kingdom Come and Swallowed in the Sea accompanied the ride home and I gave silent thanks for being 165cm... tee hee!
when Krumm met Paddington Bear
0 Comments Published by carinasuyin | Saturday, July 08, 2006 | 12:38 AM.
Dear toAdie lying on the pebble-strewn beach of Capri, trying very hard to even out his tan in the morning sun. He had earlier given up on babe-watching as the ones on our particular beach were either too young (cute little girls) or too old (spunky grandmothers in baggy bikinis). No amount of cajoling could get him to go swimming and check out the colourful fishes in the beautiful blue bay.I remember hesitating briefly on the so-tak-baik-ness of taking the shot but one cheeky grin from Sugeo and the moment was immortalized for many, many years to come. It is also currently my Flickr's most popular photo ordered by interestingness and ahem, oh-so-gonna-be-featured for a future wedding celebration! Hee...
Always reluctant to delete them, I keep them for as long as possible either in the inbox or archive until the message memory fills up. Then these precious `tiramisu' SMSes end up here and here:
`Eh karenah- I suddenly tot of you and how u looked in F6 uniform&your quirky ways-funny la you.and yea i miss you!at this hour when my eyes cant even open!WTF!'
`heehee, i was at de music cafe i brought u last time n de singers 2day sound like jacky cheung! They sang his song n wu ting (jay chou)! :-D'
`Hey su-Pohf...i'm engaged..haha..off the market...will catch up with you all soon...'
`The peach and cherry blossoms are so beautiful. Just can't capture them with my camera. Sigh.'
`Tikus kampung sudah lepas ka Singpore. Pick her up sebelum dia sesat.'
`Eh karenah- I suddenly tot of you and how u looked in F6 uniform&your quirky ways-funny la you.and yea i miss you!at this hour when my eyes cant even open!WTF!'
`heehee, i was at de music cafe i brought u last time n de singers 2day sound like jacky cheung! They sang his song n wu ting (jay chou)! :-D'
`Hey su-Pohf...i'm engaged..haha..off the market...will catch up with you all soon...'
`The peach and cherry blossoms are so beautiful. Just can't capture them with my camera. Sigh.'
`Tikus kampung sudah lepas ka Singpore. Pick her up sebelum dia sesat.'
