of memoirs and musings

Do what makes you happy.

Even though it makes my loved ones unhappy?

The last wedding I attended, the pastor spoke about terrorism in a marriage. I remembered almost keeling over by the time he finished his sermon. Of all the allegories, he had to choose that, for a wedding mass. Granted the groom was in the service of the army, but the content needed some vetting. The pastor called upon the congregation to not be terrorists to the couple’s marriage. He went on to describe that friends, colleagues, relatives, and even the parents-in-law can be potential terrorists. The mood of the sermon was heavy at its best and threatening in the worst.

Maybe I am a die-hard romantic expecting a loving/inspiring sermon but try as I might to listen without judging, I couldn’t find myself to nod in agreement and not be aghasted. Yes, a couple taking their wedding vows should be warned about potential disasters, but to enforce how much a marriage can be wrecked and using terrorism as the topic just smacks of aiiiieeeeee-phtui-ness! It was just so salah... I remembered making a mental note to put `check priest homily content’ in my wedding to-do list when I get married someday. Maybe I should even get reviews from previously married couples on priest selection… sheesh, I was really traumatized.

Yesterday, I attended another wedding. I took a deep breath the moment the priest (who was really young-looking) went up the podium to deliver his homily. He started by asking the couple how they fell in love. Then he spoke about why is it that the verb `falling’ is used to describe being in love rather than just `being’. Though young, the priest spoke with much warmth, sincerity and maturity.

He spoke about how one needs to lose something e.g. balance, grip, comfort, oneself, before falling. He reminded the bride and the groom that they needed to lose their expectations of each other in order to fall for each other, to accept each other as their new balance and strength. He related the first and second readings to what it means to be partners, lovers and a family. He emphasized how important it is that they both strive to fall in love with each other everyday for the rest of their lives together.

My trust and faith in priests and wedding vows have been renewed. Amen.

P.s. love gathers in clouds of nines

It's been cloudy all day long. Sigh. it rained like mad in the morning and the blanket of rainclouds have yet to roll away. On a soon-to-be-raining-again afternoon like this...

I am craving for kaya toast!! Or roti kahwin as Hema calls it. Mmmm... freshly made crispy charcoal-toasted bread slices filled with generous spread of sweet and fragrant homemade kaya and sinful portions of salty butter. Take a bite and the butter oozes and drips... ooh heavenly...

One bite and my mind teleports back in time...

I've always loved kaya toast in all its incarnations. I remembered eating long strips of kaya toast from the kopitiam near the Pekeliling flats in KL when I was really little. Back home, kaya toast is made using the long fluffy white bread, toasted over charcoal fire till crispy and brown, spread with kaya and butter and then sliced into half, length-wise. Sometimes, they'd squash the bread too so it'd have a penyek look. In Singapore, most of the kopitiams use Gardenia bread and the normal electric toaster... eww... except Killiney Kopitiam at Killiney Road, which is where I go to get my kaya toast fix nowadays...

I love my kaya toast with kopi peng or teh peng... the really kau type. My all-time favourite is served at Ahpek's kopitiam down the road from where Amah used to live. I've always had the feeling that no matter how old I grow up to be, when I sit in those shaky wooden chairs, under wooden ceilings decorated with spider webs and dangling yo-yo cocoons, eyes round and mouth agape waiting and watching the ahpek's every move... I'd be ten years old all over again...

*Sniff sniff* I love the traditional kopitiam. The aromatic wafts of brewed coffee always remind me of Grandpa; of his thermos flasks filled with delicious addictive black coffee- thick and sweet. Most of all, of days gone by when some simple kaya toast redeems a rainy day, every single time...

ginger lily flowers that look like milky butterflies


Christmas holly adjusting to tropical climate


mama's baby rose plant with a single bloom


rain lilies


butter yellow lanthanas a.k.a. bunga tahi ayam


multi-coloured blooms of the grafted lanthana plant

Over the weekend, mama and atah's garden was in full bloom. Flowers in myriad of colours awoke in various parts of the front porch and backyard. The lotus plants in the fish pond/tank/longkang are atah and mama's pride and joy. There are 4 buds in total this round. I was home in time to catch the first one bloom!


a day before blossoming


oh good morning!


in full bloom approaching noon and attracting pollinating insects


the seed pod (25 cute globules) which turns green after the lotus wilts


water droplets on petal


hello sunshine!


where's the frog??