of memoirs and musings

Amah passed away peacefully last Sunday morning. Atah was there by her side with Uncle No. 1 and Small Aunt as she drew her last breath. She was several weeks short of her 85th birthday.

I used to view Chinese funerals as a big chore when I was younger... especially the ones with Taoist rites as they tend to be very elaborate, full of pantangs and long-winded rites. Somehow these five days gave me a fresh perspective of the traditional Chinese funeral.

It's been a long time since all the four generations of children and grandchildren came together in Amah's house and it's utterly sayang that it took her passing to make possible the gathering that was long overdue. By participating in the rites and preparations such as folding paper money, keeping candles, incense and paper money burning in all-night virgils while attending to guests and relatives who came to offer their condolences- all done gotong-royong style, a sense of belonging and family ties are forged anew. Gossips, updates, stories, anecdotes and memorable `Amah and I moments' are exchanged as nimble fingers fold paper money into gold and silver nuggets and smarting eyes tend to the burning circle of offerings.

I left Amah's grave today remembering the enigmatic lady that was my paternal grandmother and a renewed sense of kinship.